<p>i also apparently experienced a *lot* of suicidal ideation at the same time, which i made sure to post only in spoilers and with a clear content warning</p><p>i&#39;m very normal</p>

<p>it&#39;s honestly pretty wild to have a glaring memory gap, go digging through logs and history and such, and discover that despite the extreme impairment what i have done is discuss medical papers with a biologist i know in perfectly clear, grammatically correct English, and in a fairly nuanced way</p>

<p>so yesterday i was feeling badly enough that i took somewhere between 4-5 grams of progesterone. oral p4 is metabolized into allopregnanolone, so this basically had the effect of giving me a deep benzo blackout</p><p>today i&#39;ve retraced all of my steps during the roughly 5-10 hour long blackout interval. in that time i have:<br />- backed up and fixed Signal Desktop<br />- wrangled crypto to buy some estradiol cypionate<br />- discussed in depth the research concerning isoforms of phosphodiesterase 11</p>

<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://mastodon.social/@whitequark" class="u-url mention">@<span>whitequark</span></a></span> <span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://chaos.social/@jacqueline" class="u-url mention">@<span>jacqueline</span></a></span> that is true. there are certainly specific exceptions.</p>

<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://hachyderm.io/@somehybrid" class="u-url mention">@<span>somehybrid</span></a></span> consider how many people have opinions (wrong ones) about &quot;dopamine&quot;</p>

<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://cathode.church/@s0" class="u-url mention">@<span>s0</span></a></span> <span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://chaos.social/@gsuberland" class="u-url mention">@<span>gsuberland</span></a></span> i&#39;ve done this for a while! they often act so upset</p>

<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://chaos.social/@gsuberland" class="u-url mention">@<span>gsuberland</span></a></span> <span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://chaos.social/@jacqueline" class="u-url mention">@<span>jacqueline</span></a></span> idk, glasgow for example is stupidly cheap for what it is</p>

<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://chaos.social/@jacqueline" class="u-url mention">@<span>jacqueline</span></a></span> yeah</p>

<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://donotsta.re/users/mei" class="u-url mention">@<span>mei</span></a></span> findlib is kind of like libtool and opam is kind of like apt</p>