<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://chaos.social/@gsuberland" class="u-url mention">@<span>gsuberland</span></a></span> This smells Russian.</p>

<p>a ransomware gang member will get caught because he went from working in a meat packing factory to buying a $700,000 chrome-plated sports car in the space of a week and then bought a custom license plate with the gang name on it and posted pictures on instagram</p>

<p>a &quot;major APT&quot; will turn out to be three teenagers.</p>

<p>everyone will get super hyped about a huge cred dump and it&#39;ll turn out 98% were already in HIBP</p>

<p>someone will find a serious hardware side channel vulnerability that can be used to leak data from other tenants running on the same system and a grand total of zero threat actors will actually bother to exploit it</p>

<p>you will enter a password in a signup form only to find out that it has secret extra rules that it didn&#39;t tell you about</p>

<p>I will have to explain the subtleties of NIST SP 800-88 rev.1 to people a dozen times while they attempt a 35-pass Guttman wipe on an SSD.</p><p>(also I will explain that physical destruction is negligently wasteful in the vast majority of threat models for the 28472th time)</p>

<p>fuckers will still make you cycle passwords despite it being advised against for years now</p>

<p>you will hear a phrase such as &quot;zero trust AI&quot; in a professional context and wonder what foul trickster demon you crossed to have ended up here</p>